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An artist adrift…

Good afternoon and welcome to today’s edition of “I’m scared and confused and lost!” I’m writing this because there’s a lot going on in my head and I would like the little gremlins who operate my brain to pls GET A GRIP. God! Wat has our world come to —

For some context: I have a job. (This statement is mostly for my uncle who asked me at a funeral recently whether or not I was ever planning to “work for a living.”)

These past few weeks have been SUCH a struggle for me. I love childcare and I am very good at it but I am BURNT tf out. (This is a completely unheard of phenomenon unique to just me.)

I have a tendency to go above and beyond at any job I have, and this is no exception. And I’m not trying to toot my own horn here, because going above and beyond — to the point of utter exhaustion— for a job to “pay the bills” is VERY FOOLISH.

“I’m so good at my job that I don’t even really want!” — I toot from the horn of my clown car.

But srsly, I put my whole heart into this job and I love those little babies and yet I feel like if I don’t pursue my creative talents then the resentment is just gunna live…