Grim Reaper Complex
An insight to my peculiar medical condition.
A while ago, I don’t remember the day really, but at some point in the past I made the cognitive decision to adopt an alternate personality. Now I specifically call attention to the fact that this was a conscious choice to negate the possible assumption that I am insane and slash or suffering from multiple personality disorder.
Whew! Now that that disclaimer is out of the way, let’s get back to exploring my brain, shall we? I imagine myself saying that sentence out loud, while wearing a luxurious robe and pouring my imaginary reader a glass of white wine (wouldn’t have to worry about teeth staining, now would we?) before reclining in an overstuffed leather chair (fake leather — I am still cheap even in my wildest imagination.) Also in my imagination I am a pink cartoon dog that can see sounds. Just kidding! Or am I? (Ominous music plays in the background.)
Now, back to where we were. My alternate personality is very similar to my “real” personality except she’s Goth and refers to herself as the Grim Reaper, and is occasionally evil. Well, she likes to pretend that she is evil, but really she just enjoys toying with the Dark Arts. She has been known to say things like, “I identify with the evil villains in movies,” and make suggestions like, “Why don’t we slip into something more comfortable…like a coffin?”
At some point during the course of entertaining this alternate personality…I gradually came to morph into it. In fact, as I type this paper I am wearing a black t-shirt, black shorts, black socks, and black shoes…and I am listening to my “Goth Party Playlist”, which is exactly what it sounds like. I suppose this metamorphosis has been happening for quite some time now, but it only recently was brought to my attention.
So anyways, I decided that since my alternate personality has become so strong — almost a Gollum and Smeagol sort of thing — I have decided to take action. To balance out good ole’ Grim I have made the only sane decision I could possibly think of — to adopt a third personality. This has admittedly been easier said than done. Currently, I am in the market for another personality and taking suggestions.
On the other hand, I suppose that it is possible that this personality has been there all along. After all, in the third grade, when all of the other girls were dressing up on Halloween as princesses and the like, I decided to go as the Grim Reaper…then repeated to dress as the Grim Reaper for the subsequent three years. I’ll never forget my Mom carefully asking if I’d “consider being something less scary” for Halloween. Not a snowball’s chance in Hell Mom.
What’s it like to identify with death itself?
Ultimately, very freeing.
